Guys...Come on. Have some Manners! Dinner Date Etiquette

Dinner Dating Etiquette for the Gents!

All this talk about food and entertaining has me wondering about one other realm of dining: Date Dining. In these days of sexual and sex equality, it is hard to write about this subject in a fashion that will make sense to everyone. Thus, I will not attempt to do so. I will write about it in the way that will make sense to some and not so much sense to others. Recently I decided to take a bit of a breather from catering, book signings, writing articles, and plain old epavism, do nothing spirit, and explore the dating scene. And in my exploration, this article came to mind. Thus, fellows, if you want to get your date raving about you to her friends take these tips into consideration on your next dinner date.

Make it HERcentric

I always considered, and still do, consider myself a modern gal. Meaning I don’t think it is the guy’s responsibility to take out the trash, or that it is my job to rear our children. I have forgone many of the various gender based societal restrictions put forth on the sexes and have opted for a more logical way of living. If it so happen I see the trash is full, I will take it out. If my mate happens to get home from work before me, it would make sense he would cook. It’s about us doing the best we can, when we can.

But in the world of dating, I am a tad bit more restrictive-at least initially. If a man has taken the liberty to ask a woman out to dinner, it is his duty to ensure that the evening is very HERcentric. That entails a some work on his part.

Pre Dinner

* It is best you pick up your date. Even in 2010, this still does impress a woman to be picked up for a date. I drive. So it is my natural tendency to simply say, I will meet you there. But the times that a man does say, “no, don’t worry, I will pick you up”, I realize how much that warms my heart! If you live in Manhattan or are dining in Manhattan perhaps this is not so necessary because New Yorkers take the subway everywhere, but still make the effort to pick her up whenever possible.


* Ensure that the restaurant you choose is to her taste. This can be taken care of with a basic conversation. I recommend having a conversation that will at least you give a sense of what type of food she likes. Upon knowing what type of food, it is best you pick a restaurant. Its definitely cool points for you, to pick a great place without having to spend 20 minutes on the phone with your soon-to-be-date trying to decide. That’s very high school. It was fun then, but not fun over the age of 25.



* Make reservations. We love being able to walk into a restaurant and to simply give our name and be guided to a table as we watch non-reservation makers stand there in envy. So, please go the extra mile and make that reservation and be on time.



* Things like opening the car door, opening the door to the restaurant, extending her your arm as she exits the car, etc. still hold a lot of weight. I still find it endearing when a man moves me to the inside part of the sidewalk (closer to the buildings and away from traffic) while we are walking together. Little gestures make a big difference. Do them!




During Dinner

* It is important to engage your date in the decision process. Upon looking at the menu for a minute or two, it is always nice to ask her what she’s thinking, and what direction she wants to lead. Make the meal a joint effort and use the time to get to know each other a bit better.



* If your dinner arrives first for whatever reason, it is best practice to wait for hers to arrive before your start to chow down. If you are starving and they are taking too long you can get around this (assuming you two have reached that comfort level), by making a joke. You can simply say something along the lines of, “well, since it seems my food will get cold before they even start to kill the chicken to make yours, I say you dig into mine for the time being. My mama always told me that sharing is caring.” Of course at this point, you should smile. If she refuses, you are back to square one. Wait for hers to arrive. Even if she insist you go ahead.



* Slow your role. It is important you pace yourself. Don’t eat as if you are eating with your football buddies. Glance over at her plate every now and then and try not to finish your meal before her, or at least not way before. As a woman, even I had to learn this because I am a very fast eater(I am always rushing), but on dates, I have learned it is not so cool to east your meal in 5 minutes, and spend the remaining 30 watching the other person eat.


Paying & Tipping

o If you invite a woman out to dinner, you should always pay. Even if she offers, tell her no. Tell her she can pay the next time, when she takes you out to eat. And it’s good practice to tip the customary 15% . It shows her that you are not cheap. No woman wants a cheap guy, even if she herself is a cheapo. At least she doesn’t want him to be cheap with her. In the tipping process, please learn to do some basic math in your head. Its not too attractive either to pull out a calculator to determine what is 15% of $61. in NYC, easiest rule is to double the tax since tax is (8.375%).